don’t freak out but . . .

If there’s one thing I wish the church would do less talking about, it’s women.

I know this surprises you. I’m a woman. I’m theologically trained. If anybody should be all for the church getting chatty about ladies while singing Toby Keith’s “I Wanna Talk about Me,” it should theoretically be, well, me.

But the church falls off both sides of the horse on this issue. On the one hand, we’ve got people spending all their time talking up women’s uniquely feminine gifts, and others who can’t draw a breath because they’re too busy demanding women get back to the stove. And, as with any extreme, there are grains of truth to be found in both sides.

I think, however, that our time can actually be well spent talking about the men of the church. They are, after all, to model Christ to us women. They are to defend, to protect, to give selflessly, to guide, to uphold.

So if there’s anything we women could be doing, it’s praying for the men, asking the best of them, building them up, not trying to steal their backbones, getting them back to the business of doing what the Lord requires of them.

So that’s that . . . from a woman . . . who’s sick of talking about women.

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10 thoughts on “don’t freak out but . . .

  1. What you wrote is exactly what my husband and I have been talking and dealing with for most of our 21yr marriage. We lived in a state for 15yrs in which all the Lutheran churches were very liberal and centered on pleasing people (asp. women) and meeting felt needs. We noted how this common theme impacted families, the generation rising up, the marriages as well as attendance.

    Our desire was to find a faithful LCMS church whose focus was on Catechesis and Vocation.

    My husband and I were raised where understanding our vocation as husband and wife was not defined in a healthy way. When we met and even to this day, we struggle as we define our roles within our vocation. This problem has created a lot of tension, harm and pain in our relationship with each other as well as in how we have managed our children.

    My husband and I are finally coming to that place where we are realizing where we have gone wrong. The simple version of our mistakes derive from my husband not being Christ-like to his wife and children, teaching the faith, yet not living it or understanding HOW to live what we were teaching our children.

    Taking strictly from the Bible, Catechism, Book of Concord, Pieper’s Dogmatics, we did all we could to understand with our logic what we needed to do in order to be a good Christian family.

    But the problem was deeper than mere logic could understand. The heart of Christ was missing in our lives. The heart of Christ who never rejected anyone (homosexuals, thieves, adulterers etc). Rather He loved them to the point where he warned them of the consequences of their sins, ate and listened to them and finally took their sins upon Himself so that they too may inherit the gift of Heaven through no merit of their own.

    These points I am expressing are so very deep and require a lot of communicating in order for others to fully grasp onto what I am saying.

    My life has been a tortured life where love has been absent, where I have been controlled and disrespected. Yet even after all my years of enduring this pain, I must submit my life to my husband to care for me with the same heart that Jesus had for the Woman at the Well. Where he knows my sins and listens to me with respect and dignity. Where he encourages me to do better and takes on the ramifications of my mistakes/failings etc.

    The Church NEEDS to be more vocationally minded so that the CHURCH may grow in a more healthy directions where divorces are less common, rejection of Church from our youth becomes seldom and family thrive being together united in one faith.

    I have 9 children and have been severely interrupted writing this as they came home nearly 3 hours ago. I hope what I am saying makes sense.

  2. Well said. Women are most glorified when they honor their men. Why should we expect selflessness from them when we are motivated by nothing but selfishness (i.e., “Let’s talk about me!”)?

  3. Perhaps you have been talking to Gregg. We were just having this kind of conversation the other day. Men don’t need to be “sissified”. (Gregg’s quote, not mine. ) 🙂 We do need the men back. Thanks Adriane.

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