of foamy lattes and 17 wheelers

breadUnfortunately for all you foodies, this post has nothing to do with bread. Actually, my Pinterest feed is blowing up with mushy evangelical Advent blogs–you know the ones I’m talking about: with pictures of beautiful wreaths on the front door and little girls with snowflakes in their hair beckoning you to ask Jesus into your home to sit by the hearth this Advent–so I thought I’d try to play along. Because you know me. I’m always one to try to fit in with the cool kids.


This is actually a bait-and-switch, because while wreaths and my first attempt at a harvest pumpkin chocolate chip bread ARE pretty ding dang specatular, we need to talk about something else during the holidays: taking care of the single people in your midst during Advent and Christmas.

Don’t tell me! I already know: You’re sick of hearing about single people. Well, strangely enough, they’re sick of hearing about married people. They’re sick of your Instagrammed pics of heart-shaped foam in your coffee and your Facebook album of cutting down your Christmas tree with your husband and shmoopy First Christmas decorations.

It doesn’t mean they’re right. They’re just tired of hearing about it. They’re tired of hearing about how you have what they want. And during the holidays, every feeling they have about being single is growing like Mark McGuire’s biceps on steroids.

That’s why I’m proposing that instead of us all being sick of each other, we take care of each other. Families, invite the single people over. Single people, go. Families, don’t invite them to the event where there’s 47 other couples there. It’s intimidating and the singles won’t go. Single people, get tough. You’ll get through this.

Families, meet them on middle ground. Instead of having them over for supper where they’re going to feel like they’re being interrogated under bright lights by the CIA, ask to meet them at a coffee shop where everyone’s on unfamiliar ground. Singles, you have time for coffee. Just do it.  Families, if you do invite them over, ask them if they want to bring a friend. Singles, they’re being nice. Don’t hole up at home.

Take care of each other already, ok? You know you can do that.

Just, please, don’t make me blog pictures of steaming cocoa while trying to find a tie-in to the Incarnation. That’s all I ask.

One final thing: Singles, this Christmas, you’re going to feel a heck of a lot better about the suffering you are enduring if you do three things: (1) Pray. The Lord answers prayers. He hears them. So don’t pretend to be a valiant martyr. Tell Him you are alone and that it stinks and that you’re totally over being single and that if you have to be the 17th wheel at one more family Christmas, you are going to blow a gasket. He will understand. (2) Love. Take care of the families around you. Instead of waiting for someone to ask YOU over during the holidays, invite people over yourself. There is great joy to be had in taking care of those the Lord has placed in your life. (3) Toughen up. Being alone during the holidays isn’t a pleasure trip, but the Lord will see you through. And you can be resilient. You can choose not to spend your entire Christmas break snapping at your mom and bemoaning the fact no one in your family understands you. Because they do, and they are sorry you are hurting. So, straighten up, little soldier. It’s going to be a wild 8-second Advent/Christmas ride.

Go hang your wreaths. Drink your foamy lattes. Be happy. Be sad. Eat pumpkin bread with wild abandon. And as you do, remember the Body of Christ, singles and families, all around you. They are yours to care for, and they can and do bring you great joy, and that’s worth blowing up Pinterest over any day.

5 thoughts on “of foamy lattes and 17 wheelers

  1. Does being a widow count? 🙂 We seem to be out in left field too. I do get tired of going to everything alone. So I stay home more, which is ok I’m a reader. But one gets in a rut that way and then tends not to want to go out much. I was part of a couple once. Maybe that is what makes me seem even lonelier now. Widows don’t get invited to gatherings except open ones held at church. Even my former best friends (who still have their husbands) don’t invite me to things.

    Anyway, thanks for the encouraging words! I will keep trying ….

    1. You’re in my prayers today, Abby. I’m sorry that we as a Church have been in lax in caring for you, but I give thanks to God that He is your comfort and your peace, even (and especially) when those of us around you botch it up. You are loved in Christ! Merry Christmas.

  2. perhaps your congregation has a group or event scheduled for singles. If not, organize one yourself.
    Or, join a singles group from another church in the area.
    Or, attend events with whatever group you associated with.

  3. I truly appreciate your blog post and your compassion for singles. I find it to be a topic often forgotten when Christians talk as we should be so very pro-family. Or maybe not forgotten, but too easily handled. As if it’s just to get out there and marry. As if confessional Lutheran young, available, interesting men and women grow on trees. We ARE pro-family. We’re just not against single brothers and sisters (even though it can feel that way sometimes).
    Is there any literature you would recommend about being single but not a failure?

  4. Pumpkin bread with chocolate chips. Great idea. Are you having an open house during the holiday’s 🙂 Foamy Latte? My mug has a lid. I wouldn’t be able to tell.
    Thanks for another fun read.

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