{Disclaimer: This post has nothing to do with theology, Lutheranism, or The Lutheran Witness.}

{Ok, I lied. Maybe it has a little to do with Lutheranism.}

My best friend’s name is Jeni. We can’t remember how or when we met (Wait. Do we even know each other?!), but it doesn’t matter. We were both students at Fort Wayne, and that’s good enough for us.

Jeni’s having a baby in a month, and nothing is cause for celebration like the thought of another little Lutheran.

So in true Dorr fashion, under the advisement of my sisters and mom, I threw Jeni a pretty little onesie-themed shower.

Courtesy of my sister Kellee and her lovely party planning/catering company Let It Be Done, we had onesie cookies (in Jeni’s favorite color green, of course!).

{For all of you in love with extreme nerdery out there, Kellee makes some pretty dang awesome Star Wars cookies. And she ships them too. Just sayin’.}

We had ribbons and bows marshmallow sticks served in Pyrex, of course . . .

and sugar and spice and everything nice chex mix. Pretty, baby water bottles are a must are all that saltiness.

Naturally.

Oh yeah. And that happened too. What Lutheran baby isn’t happy? That’s what I want to know.

Don’t forget little girls make the world sweeter popcorn mix!

And being the horrible friend that I am, I totally made Jeni flip the sides of those bags down, cut out eleventy-two million tiny onesies, and then glue them all to the front.

Have I mentioned I’m a horrible friend?

We also had babies make chunky thighs look good cranberry spritzer.

Don’t ask for the recipe. It’s a Dorr family favorite. Worth millions. Ok, hundreds. Ok, so it’s actually really easy to make.

Then there was the cheese . . . situation.

We had great plans to cut cheese out in the shapes of hearts and Ms, but after a half an hour of giggles and bags of cheese scraps, we ditched that idea and sliced them instead.

Nobody ever said Jeni or I were Martha Stewart.

Clearly.

And, for the healthy ladies among us who didn’t want to cram themselves full of cookies and other high-calorie, carb-ridden deliciousness, we had fruit skewers.

Jeni and I tried to make a fruit bouquet once. Let’s just say we’re still traumatized.

Then, instead of playing awkward baby shower games where everyone sits around staring at each other in silence, we each decorated a little onesie for the baby to wear upon arrival.

We had markers, puffy paint, iron-on appliques, beads, lace . . .

And let me tell you, these ladies are pretty dang creative.

I mean, they’re Lutheran after all. What would you expect?

I, on the other hand, am not all that creative. Thus, ruffles on the bum.

She’s got the high chair, the diapers, the onesies, bibs, books, a crib, a changing table, blankies, stuffed animals, and a charged cell phone.

I don’t know, but something tells me this little Lutheran mama’s ready.